My pen scribbled the last “amen” on the very end page of my beaten up, wrinkly paged, worn-out journal. The end of a chapter.
Time for a new beginning.
I opened a new light blue journal, blank crisp pages that haven’t seen the inside of my backpack hundreds of times. This new little book has not been on any adventures with me yet, it doesn’t know my deepest thoughts nor my past revelations.
It will only know what is to come. New adventures, new miracles, new healings, new salvations, new scribbles when my brain is working faster than my hand could possibly write, new revelations, new tears, new laughs, new dialogue with Jesus.
This is my new beginning.
My prayers for the days to come and my deepest conversations with the Highest King.
As I was sitting on the side of the mountain this past week chatting with God, I began to get slightly emotional— soaking the beauty of His creation and listening to the rooster sound indicating that morning has come, as the sun peaked up over the tips of the ridged mountains, I had internalized that my time here in the Himalayas was coming to a close.
When I wrote each letter
A - M - E - N
Followed by a heart (as it had become a tradition), it made my process, go back and read through all of the questions I’ve asked, the prayers I’ve prayed, but most of all the answers my loving Heavenly Father gifted to me.
Jesus has been so good to me, he has given me so many revelations and has grown me in multiple aspects of my life. Especially patience. And Grace. (There is so much grace it’s INSANE) Being able to have the opportunity to go back through my prayer journal, and read what was on my heart back in late October to now, I am in awe with how much Jesus worked in and through me. He has given me authority to walk in His power, to speak life into people through the Holy Spirit, He has taught me to not only pray, but listen and hear his voice in return. The more we get to know Him the more we trust Him, and the more authority we give Him over our lives, the more opportunity He has to use us to perform miracles and see salvation.
As I’ve gotten to know Jesus, I’ve learned that He is, in fact, a perfect gentleman. He will have His hand out ready for me to grasp it at all times, he will never give up or walk away. He is always there, waiting to be my perfect dance partner as He leads me through life. One step at a time. Sometimes He will spin me around, but I am the one who decides how tightly I hold on to Him. He never forces us to choose Him or to love Him, He always lets us choose, but if I believe that Jesus is in fact who he says he is, how could I not choose him? How could I not want to know him? How could I not want to give him full control to turn my life completely upside down and in turn give my “yes” although it may be extremely challenging?
You see I’ve heard the phrase “God won’t give you more than you can handle” more times than I can count, but I actually disagree strongly with this statement. If the Lord never allowed in your life more than you can handle then 1. Are you actually being challenged? And 2. If you can handle it, then why do you need God?
If you are never challenged then you will never grow, you will become stagnant in your life and faith. God allows more than what you can handle in your life so that you can understand your need for something greater than yourself, your need for a savior, a need for Jesus.
As time is winding down here in the Himalayas, I am more expectant every day to see the Lord move in big and wild ways, I am expectant for salvations, I am expectant for revival to break out, for Jesus to do what only He can do. Time is not a factor for God, I was recently told that “God can do just as much or even more in one week than he did in the last month.”
God is so good.
To the people who have supported me through this wild adventure, I have a challenge for you that has been a recurring theme in my time at YWAM:
-Do you believe that Jesus is who he says He is?
-If you do believe this, what ways can you make Jesus the Lord of everything in your life?
-What are you holding on to because you can “handle it yourself,” and where can we have more faith that God has the best way, and the best plan beyond our knowledge?